Am I Evil? Yes I am... A Critical Analysis of Heteronormativity

WESLEY JOHNSON

I’m not here to talk about the slow downfall of Metallica’s albums, and like this song, the idea is not my own. It’s been done before and written about before. I’m not here to talk about music at all, I'm here to talk about the evil concept of the heteronormative system. However, just like music.. heteronormativity is another one of the patriarchy's greatest hits. This is my experience growing up around heteronormativity. 

From a young age, we are taught how to walk, talk, act, dress and behave. We are taught manners, “yes thank you, no thank you and please”. We are taught right from wrong, and we are even taught morals. But, most of all.. we are taught from a young age how to perform our gender and what is normal. First, I will talk about binary concepts introduced to children from a young age, how that progresses, and finish with the Modernization of The Cog in the Machine.. in this case, the machine is heteronormativity.

The Gender Reveal

Congratulations! It’s a... Before the precious bundle of joy enters your world, you hold the classic gender reveal party to announce to the world what gender your baby is. The balloon pops and the colourful confetti spills out revealing the anticipated gender. Pink means girl, blue means boy. When you have a girl, from the beginning you see presents filled with frilly pink dresses, toys expertly chosen in the form of easy bake ovens, kitchen sets, dolls and vacuums. If it’s a boy, the presents are here to remind you that you like blue, dinosaurs, monster trucks and like to fix things with tools. Of course, these constructs of gender would not be complete without disciplinary practices in place. Young ladies must be modest, and keep their movements close to their bodies. Those dresses bought for you should be worn, but only if you keep your legs crossed. Young boys? that set of tools you got for Christmas are meant to put your emotions into your work since you cannot show them, and do not even think about wearing colours “meant” for girls! Now that the early constructs of gender have begun, they can continue outside of the home when we send them off to school.

The Binary Norms of Children

When our children are in the early stages of forming relationships with other children, society constructs normativity within those interactions. When young girls form friendships with young boys, we instruct them that they’re innocent playtime together is “flirting” and insisting they must be “crushing” on one another and deem it appropriate to joke around about being “boyfriend and girlfriend”. Playdates become sexualized, and the children are none the wiser. 

In our schools, children are faced with the structure of assigned bathrooms. You must only go into the bathroom of your gender, or else you will be disciplined. This extends to gym class, and locker rooms. Those little stick figures on the door are there to remind you that you have a place, and that place is binary and unchangeable. However, there is one place that both genders come together without repercussions. Health class, and the mandatory subject of sex education. Here, you will find more about your gender and a (very) brief introduction to sexuality. Children are taught that heterosexual sex is the norm and that females have vagina’s and males have the word the entire class cannot hear without giggling. You’ll discover that in order to conceive, the act of heterosexual sex is needed. As a woman, you endure menstruation and yeast infections; and your sexual organs are labelled solely as “vagina”, because, of course, the act of sex is only meant to conceive, and not for pleasure. As a man, you are now appointed as the superior gender. Without you, there would be no way for the act of conception to exist! You are the life creator. Therefore, as a male, you must be with a female, and vice versa. 

Marriage is also something that you should do, it’s preferred if you’re going to start a family.. you are going to start a family aren’t you? A nuclear family is needed to be happy and obey heteronormativity. One man, one woman and one, plus a half..children. Children are taught that love means marriage, it means presenting the one you love with a diamond ring, having a wedding, and making sure people see it happen, that is also very important. Now, we are back at the start... a child with a pre-determined gender.

Pink vs. Blue, The Binary Colours

Now that we’ve determined that as a child you are either pink or blue, wrong or right, male or female. Well, you could say what’s the discourse here? You’re born with a vagina, you’re a girl; a female. If you’re born with a penis, you’re a boy; a male. Right? That’s determined through ultrasounds, gender reveals and finally birth. It seems easy enough. Except, surprise! the doctor hands you the bundle of joy and you notice one thing... actually two things. Your baby is... a girl-boy? But… what bathroom will they go in? What department will they shop at in the clothing store? How will they know what colour they are! The doctor informs you that you need to make a decision either now, or later. You must choose which gender your child will become. How can you know you’re not choosing their gender based on what you want? How do you know you haven’t fallen into the mechanics that is heteronormativity? Because you didn’t even believe it was possible for your child to be anything except their gender, be anything other than male or female, and stay that way.

The Heteronormative Wheel

Think of normativity as a power structure, a manufactory process. The main goal is to keep the mechanics of the system running smoothly. As long as things are running smoothly, your superior is happy, and therefore, everyone around is happy. Let’s say a foreign object makes its way into the wheel that keeps the assembly line going. A wedge if you will. When a smoothly running operation is stopped, a reaction begins. Human nature is to instantly try and fix the problem, and understand why it happened. When the wedge is discovered and the foreign object is removed, things can return to normal and run smoothly again. When you’re a being that defies normativity, you are that wedge. No one is certain how the wedge got there, but, it has put a stop to the smooth running operation. The wedge is a direct threat to not only the cog it’s placed into, but the entire system, it does not belong. That wedge must be removed to get rid of the threat. That wedge is now an “Other”. As someone who continues to fight for the smooth running operation, congratulations... you’re a cog. Another cog in the turning wheel of heteronormativity. 

Fighting Back Against The System

Now that we know that a simple wedge can cause such a “disruption”, however, it is only a mere hiccup. To break down the system as a whole, you need more wedges. Placing one big wedge into the system is easy to remove and begin the process over again. So, a different approach is needed. Slowly, over time... small slivers of wedges are strategically placed one by one into the spinning wheel of cogs, small enough to slow production but it goes unnoticed. Eventually, the cogs cannot keep turning and eventually stop, the rest of the cogs have the same fate until the system itself cannot turn, starts to overheat and breaks down and can no longer run as it once did. Chances are, after wearing down those cogs cannot be replaced. Perhaps now it is time to re-build that system but in another way. If there is always going to be something to cause a disruption to the system, it would be more sensible to find a way to work with the “disruption” rather than always removing it. Perhaps it is time to re-imagine how the system runs altogether and not think of the wedges as disruption at all, but as a way to critically think about the system itself.